Osho - No Water No Moon
Chapter 3. Is That
So?
The Zen Master Hakuin was honored by his
neighbors as one who led a pure life.
One day it was discovered that a beautiful
girl who lived near Hakuin was pregnant.
The parents were very angry. At first the
girl would not say who the father was, but after much harassment she named
Hakuin.
In great anger the parents went to Hakuin,
but all he would say was, "Is that so?"
After the child was born it was taken to
Hakuin who had lost his reputation by this time, although he didn't seem much
disturbed by the fact.
Hakuin took great care of the child. He
obtained milk, food, and everything else the child needed from his neighbors.
A year later the girl-mother could stand it
no longer, so she told her parents the truth - the real father was a young man
who worked in the fish market. The mother and father of the girl went round at
once to Hakuin to tell him the story, apologize at great length, ask his
forgiveness, and get the child back.
As the master willingly yielded the child
he said, "Is that so?"
What is pure life? What do you
call purity? Because whatsoever you call purity is not the real purity.
Your purity is a calculation, a
moral calculation. Your purity is not the purity of a saint - his purity is
innocence. Your purity is a sort of cunningness, a shrewdness.
This has to be understood
first. If you understand it deeply, only then you can understand what a wise
man is, what a saint is, what a man of knowledge is. Because if your
measurement is wrong, if your very base of judgment is wrong, everything will
go wrong with it.
Real purity is just like a
child - innocent; innocent about what is good, what is bad; innocent about any
distinction. Real purity does not know what is God and what is the Devil. But
your purity is a choice - a choice of God against the Devil, a choice of the
good against the bad. You have already made a distinction, you have already
divided existence. And a divided existence cannot lead to innocence.
Innocence flowers only when
existence is undivided. You accept it as it is. You don't choose, you don't divide,
you don't make any distinctions. You don't know, really, what is good and what
is bad.
If you know, then you will
calculate, then purity will be manufactured. It will not be a flowering.
I will tell you one anecdote:
Khalil Gibran has written a beautiful story. A priest was going to the temple.
Just by the side of the road he saw a man almost at the verge of death -
bleeding, dying, as if he had been attacked very severely - wounds all over,
blood flowing, soaked in his own blood.
The priest was in a hurry; he
had to reach the temple in time, there must be people waiting. But he was a man
of morality - I will not say of purity: he was a man of morality. He pondered
what to do.
He calculated and then he
thought, "It is better to help this man who is dying. This is what Jesus
has said. It is better to forget the temple, the worshippers; they can wait a
little. But this man has to be helped immediately, otherwise he will die."
So he went closer to the man,
but the moment he saw his face he was scared. This face looked familiar, very
evil-looking. Then he suddenly remembered that in his temple there is a picture
of the Devil - and this is the man. This is the Devil, nobody else! So he
started running towards the temple.
The Devil called out; he said,
"Priest, listen! If I die you will repent forever. Because if I die, if
evil dies, where will your God be? If the bad dies, how will you know what is
good? You exist because of me. Think it over!"
The priest stopped. The Devil
was right: if the Devil dies, there will be no hell. And if there is no fear,
who is going to worship God? All prayers are based on fear. You are afraid,
your love towards God is based on the fear of the Devil. Your goodness is
measured through evil. God needs the Devil.
The Devil said, "God needs
me! He cannot be without me. All the temples will fall down and nobody will
come to worship. And you will not find a single man who is religious if I am
not there. I tempt them; through my temptation they become saints. Have you
ever heard about any saint who was not tempted by the Devil? Your Jesus, your
Zoroaster, your Buddha - all have been tempted by me!
It is I who made them saints.
So come back!"
The priest hesitated a little,
but the Devil was logical - and the Devil is always logical; he is logic
personified. You cannot reason with him, you cannot argue. If you argue you are
defeated. You cannot win an argument with the Devil.
The priest had to concede and
agree. He said, "You seem to be right. Where will we be without you?"
So he carried the Devil on his back to the hospital. He waited there until he
was certain that now there is no danger and that the Devil will survive - and
with the Devil, all the temples, all the priests and all religions survive.
This priest is a moral man, but
not a pure man. His life is a mathematical calculation, and if you calculate
then you are already defeated by the Devil. You cannot calculate better than he
can. If you argue, if you divide life, if it becomes a logical problem, then
there is no possibility of your ever winning it. The game is already lost. You
are in a losing battle.
A man of innocence does not
know who God is and who the Devil is. A man of innocence lives out of his
innocence, not out of his calculations. He is not shrewd, he is simple. He
lives moment to moment, neither the past nor the future is meaningful to him.
This very moment is enough unto itself.
But your morality... your
morality is created by the priest, the priest who helped the Devil; because the
Devil argued, and he argued rightly. Your morality is not pure. So whenever
there is someone who can behave the way you think a pure man should behave, who
can manipulate himself, you honor him, you respect him, you call him a saint.
Your saints are as bogus as you are, because you decide and judge who is a
saint. Your morality is just a fear, a hidden fear, and the disguise is so
clever that you never become aware of it.
How can a calculation become
innocent? And without becoming innocent - innocent like the trees, innocent
like the animals, innocent like the babies - how can purity happen to you? It
is not something you can control. If you control, it is repression, and the
contrary is always present there.
If you become a celibate, sex
is there hidden in the unconscious waiting for its moment to assert, to rebel.
If you become nonviolent, violence is there. The opposite cannot be thrown out.
If you choose, the opposite is always repressed - that's all you can do. Only
in an innocent mind does the opposite disappear, because nothing has been chosen:
the opposite cannot exist without choice.
Hence Krishnamurti consistently
emphasizes not to choose, and to be choiceless - that's the base of innocence.
But you can deceive yourself by choosing choicelessness: "Because
Krishnamurti says, 'Be choiceless' I will be choiceless." If you decide,
the will has entered - and the will is cunning. If you decide to be choiceless,
your choicelessness will be part of a morality, not part of purity.
Just understand, don't choose -
don't choose even choicelessness. Simply understand the whole situation: that
whatsoever you choose, whatsoever you do, will come out of the calculating
mind. It cannot be the real thing. Your mind can only produce dreams, it cannot
produce the truth. Truth cannot be produced, nobody can produce it. It is
there; it has to be seen. Nothing has to be done, just a look is needed - a
look without any prejudice, a look without any choice, a look without any
distinctions.
A man of God, if he has
suppressed, if he has denied the Devil, is not a real man of God. The Devil
will be there by the corner. Once you divide, you are caught in the battle of
the opposites - you will
be crushed. If you don't decide
- you don't know what is good, what is bad - whatsoever happens you simply
accept. It is happening, what can you do? Nothing can be done. So you float
like a white cloud. You don't know where you are going or why you are going.
The wind blows to the north, you go to the north; the wind then drifts towards
the south, you drift towards the south. You float with the wind. You don't say,
"I am going to the south, I cannot go to the north." You don't fight.
A man of purity is not a
soldier, he is a saint. And a man of morality is a soldier, he is not a saint.
Of course, the fight is within, not without. Of course, the fight is not with
someone else but with oneself - but the fight is there.
You need not be a fighter. And
if you fight you will lose the battle. How can you fight the whole?
You are just a tiny part, an
atomic part. How can you fight the whole? A man of purity neither fights nor
surrenders - because surrender also belongs to the soldier. First he fights,
then he finds it is impossible to win, then he surrenders. His surrender is
also secondhand, it comes through the fight. A man of purity simply exists. He
is not a fighter, he need not surrender. There is nothing to surrender, nobody
to surrender. Who will surrender and what is to be surrendered? He has never
fought.
Understanding leads you to
acceptance, and that acceptance gives you purity. But this purity cannot be
honored by people, by the neighbors - they cannot understand it. Morality
belongs to a country, purity belongs to no country. Morality belongs to an age,
purity is nontemporal. Morality belongs to this society or that: there are as many
moralities as there are societies. Purity is one - wherever you go it is the
same, just like the taste of the sea: wherever you go it is salty.
A Buddha or a Jesus or a
Ramakrishna, if you taste them, they are all just like the sea - the same
saltiness. But a man of morality is different. A man of morality, if he is a
Mohammedan, will be different; if he is a Hindu, he cannot be the same. If he
is a Christian, again he will be different.
A man of morality has to follow
the code, the law of the society. Societies are many, moralities are millions.
Societies change, moralities change. Purity is eternal - it transcends time,
space. It transcends climate, countries, it transcends tribes. It transcends
all that is manmade. Purity is not manmade; moralities are manmade.
Now we should enter this
beautiful story - it happened in reality, it is an historic fact.
The Zen Master Hakuin was
honored by his neighbors as one who led a pure life.
They didn't know, they were not
aware that the purity of their conceptions cannot be applied to this man. They
were not aware. They thought, "He is a moral man," and he was not a
moral man. He was a pure man, an innocent one - but not a moral one. He was a
religious man - and remember the difference - he belonged to the eternal
innocence, he was childlike. But the people honored him because they were not
aware yet of the distinction between morality and amoral purity.
They thought that he is a
saint, but he was not the saint of their conceptions. He was a saint, but he
was not a saint who can be measured by you. Your standards won't apply there.
You will have to throw out your measurements and look. You will have to throw
out your judgments and look; only then the saint, the real saint, is revealed
to you.
One day it was discovered that
a beautiful girl who lived near Hakuin was pregnant. The parents were very
angry. At first the girl would not say who the father was, but after much
harassment she named Hakuin.
In great anger the parents went
to Hakuin, but all he would say was, "Is that so?"
He would not deny, he would not
accept. He didn't make any commitment. He didn't say, "I am not
responsible." He didn't say, "I am responsible." He simply said
a very noncommittal thing; he said, "Is that so?" as if he was not
related - so detached, so absolutely out of it. He simply asked, "Is that
so, that I am the father of the child?"
What does this mean? It means
such a total acceptance that even acceptance is not needed.
Because when you say, "I
accept," deep down you have denied. When you say yes, then no is implied.
He would not even say yes. Who was he to say yes or no? If it had happened, if
this was a fact, then he would just be a witness to it. If people had come to
think that he was the father, then why unnecessarily disturb them and say
something this way or that way? He would not choose. This is what
choicelessness is. He would not be this or that, he would not defend himself.
Purity is never on the defense.
Morality is always defensive, that's why morality always takes offense very
easily. Just look at a moralist, at a puritan, and he feels offended. If you
say something, he feels offended; he will immediately deny and defend himself.
But this is one of the basic psychological insights of all seekers: that
whenever you defend something, it means you are afraid.
If this Hakuin was an ordinary
saint he would have defended himself - and he would also have been true in his
defense, there was no problem about it: it was proved later on that the child
never belonged to him, he was not the father. An ordinary saint, a so-called
saint, a man of morality, even if he was the father, would have defended
himself. And this Hakuin - he was not the father, but he did not defend
himself.
Innocence is insecurity, that's
why it is innocence. If you defend it and make it secure, it is not innocence -
calculation has entered.
What must have happened inside
Hakuin? Nothing! He simply listened to the fact that people had come to believe
that he was the father, so he asked, "Is that so?" That was all, that
is all! He didn't react in any way - this way or that. He would not say yes, he
would not say no. He was not defensive, he was open and vulnerable. Innocence
is vulnerable; it is absolute vulnerability, openness.
Whenever you defend, whenever
you say that this is not so, you are afraid. Only fear is defensive.
Fearlessness cannot be
defensive. Fear always armors itself. If somebody says that you are dishonest,
you immediately defend. Why? Why be so worried about it? Why react? - because
you know that you are dishonest. That's why it hurts. Truth hurts very much,
because the wound is there. You know you are dishonest, and if somebody says
you are dishonest, you cannot laugh, you become serious. You have to defend,
otherwise the thing will be known. You have to fight, otherwise everybody else
will start thinking in those terms.
And if people come to know that
you are dishonest, then it will be difficult to be dishonest, because only if
people believe that you are honest can you continue to be dishonest. This is
the mathematics.
People must believe that you
are a true man, only then you can lie. If everybody knows that you are a liar -
finished! Then how can you lie? Even lies need a sort of trust about you.
You can be a thief only if
people believe that you are a saint - then it is very easy to be a thief,
because people will not try to protect themselves against you.
An immoral person will always
defend his character. He will try to prove that he is a man of character, but
this shows that he is characterless. If you are not dishonest and somebody says
you are dishonest, you will say, "Is that so? Maybe, perhaps, who
knows!" You will say, "I will look again. I will have a look again
within myself. You may be right."
But this is honesty. How can
this man be dishonest who says, "I will look, I will try to find out. You
may be right"? This is authentic honesty. This man cannot be dishonest.
But if you are dishonest and somebody says so, you take offense. All your
defenses are because you take offense. You are always prepared and ready to
answer. You carry character certificates with you, "I am a man of
character."
Fear creates an armor. Now
depth psychology has come to realize that all characters are armor.
A child is born, he does not
know what is good, what is bad. Then he has to be taught to make distinctions.
He is punished if he goes on doing something which is thought bad. What happens
to the mind of the child? What happens in his consciousness? As far as his
innocence is concerned, he cannot see what is bad in it. Why is it bad? But
father and mother - and they are powerful - they say, "This is bad, and if
you do it you will be punished. If you don't do it you will be appreciated,
rewarded."
He has to listen to them
because they are powerful, and he has to suppress himself and his own
innocence. He creates an armor around himself. He becomes afraid of certain
things he should not do, otherwise he will be punished. Certain things he
should do because then he is going to be rewarded.
Greed is created, fear is
created. And then the child moves through many experiences in which he is
punished, in which he is rewarded. By and by, he creates a character around his
consciousness.
Character means creating habits
which society thinks are good, and destroying habits which society thinks are
bad - this is character. And this character is an armor, because if you don't
create it the society will destroy you. The society won't allow you to exist.
To exist, to survive, you have to create a character, otherwise you will be in
jail, punished.
Why are you so much against
criminals? Why do you punish them so much? Not because their crimes are so
great, not because it is needed by justice, no. You are taking revenge. They
disobeyed society, they disobeyed you, the structure, the establishment. They
are rebellious. You were saying, "This is bad," and they still did it
- the society will take revenge. And your courts and your judges are not really
men of justice, they are the hangmen. They are the murderers appointed by the
society, in the name of justice, to take revenge. They murder, they kill, but
in the name of justice.
A man steals, he is a thief. He
is sent to prison for five years, seven years, ten years. Is it going to help
in any way? When he comes out, is it going to prevent him stealing again? No,
on the contrary; he will come out a more perfect thief, because there in the
prison he will meet the masters. There
he will learn the trade
secrets, there he will learn why he has been caught, where he was at fault.
Next time it will not be so
easy to catch him. He will become more efficient, he will become more alert.
Your punishment never changes
anybody. But you go on punishing and you say, "We are punishing to change
him." A man murders, then the society murders him "... because,"
they say, "why did you murder?" But this seems to be foolish. He
murdered, he was wrong, and now the society murders him - and the society is
right! And how is your killing him going to change him? He will no longer be
there.
No! You are taking revenge. And
you know deep down that not only is society doing that, you are also doing
that. You are a father or a mother - you punish your child. Have you ever
observed your mind, why you punish? Look deep inside and you will find the revenging
attitude. You will say, "We are teaching him. How will he learn if he is
not punished?" But these are just rationalizations.
Inside, the father feels hurt
because the child has disobeyed, he has become rebellious, he has done
something which he was told not to do - the father's ego feels hurt.
If you look in the old
scriptures, the Old Testament, the Koran and other scriptures, then you will
immediately feel that God is very revengeful. He will send you to hell, not
that justice needs it, but because you disobeyed. In the Old Testament it is
said: Obedience is virtue, disobedience is sin. It is not a question of what is
said to you - obedience is virtue and disobedience is sin.
If obedience is forced, then a
character arises. Then by and by the child starts learning; he learns, becomes
calculating - what to do, what not to do. The innocence is poisoned. The
innocence is no longer there, now calculation has come in. And now he knows how
to influence you, how to manipulate you, how to be a good child so he is
rewarded, and how not to be a bad child.
And this character armor works
in a double way. He protects himself from the society; but deep inside, the
consciousness does not know what is good, what is bad. So he has to fight with
himself continuously. This character becomes a double-edged thing: on the
outside it is a protection from society, on the inside it is a constant fight.
You fall in love with a woman
and she is not your wife. What to do? The society has taught you that this is
immoral. But even your consciousness has fallen in love, because the
consciousness does not know what is immoral and what is moral. Something
happens, you cannot do anything about it. Your character starts fighting and
says, "This is immoral, prevent it, control it. Don't move on this path,
this is wrong." Then you start fighting. This fight creates anxiety, your
spontaneity is lost. In the eyes of others you are a man of character; you
cannot lose your reputation, because then the ego will be lost.
Inside also you think that you
are a man of character. You start feeling guilty, you start punishing yourself.
So many monks in so many monasteries are fasting, not as a religious prayer but
just as a punishment to themselves. They feel guilty, continuously guilty. And
it is very difficult to find a monk who is not feeling guilty, very difficult,
because everything is wrong: to look at a beautiful woman is wrong, to eat food
with taste is wrong, to feel comfortable is wrong - everything is wrong.
Continuous guilt, so what to do
now?
Only one thing remains... And
he is not a criminal because he has not done anything, so the society cannot
punish him. And you all give your respect to him. So what can he do? He has to
punish himself. He will go on a fast. He will go on a continuous vigilance for
seven days. He will not allow himself to sleep, he will not allow himself to be
comfortable, he will not eat with taste, he will not look at anything beautiful
- he will not enjoy anything. That is how he will punish himself, and the more
he punishes himself the more honorable he becomes in your eyes. And he is just
an ill man, perverted.
He is pathological, he is a
case. He has to be studied, not respected. Something has gone wrong within him.
His mind is not at ease - divided, fragmented, he is continuously against
himself. This is what anxiety means: when you are against yourself, you are in
anxiety. Continuously fighting with yourself will create tension.
And you cannot allow anything,
because you are always afraid that if you allow then all that you have
suppressed will come up. You cannot relax. Your so-called saints cannot relax.
Even in sleep they cannot relax, because they are afraid of relaxation. If they
relax, then what will happen? Then the body will say, "Be comfortable."
Then the mind will say, "Find taste in food, find tasteful food."
Then the body will desire: "Find a woman, find a beautiful body to hug.
Find someone with whom you can merge and melt." If you relax, then all
that you have suppressed will also relax. So your saints cannot relax, they are
afraid of relaxation. They are tense, continuously tense, you can feel that
tenseness. If you go near a saint, all around him there is a field of
tenseness. You will also become tense if you go near a saint.
But with a real saint, a sage,
who is a man of purity not a man of morality, he is continuously relaxed... if
you go near him you will feel relaxed. But then you may feel afraid, because if
you feel relaxed your own repressions will start coming up.
Many people come to me and they
say, "This is dangerous, because when we meditate and relax, many things
that have not been bothering us before start bothering us."
A married man with six children
came to me just a few days ago, and he said, "Never in my life have I
looked at other women, never. But what is happening? I am meditating and for
the first time - and I am now forty-eight with six children, a wife, and
everything is okay - suddenly women have become very attractive. What to
do?" He is afraid now. He must have been repressing this continuously for
forty-eight years. Now, suddenly, he has learned how to relax. But when you
relax, you relax totally, so all that has been repressed also relaxes.
For the first time he is
becoming young again. "Really," I told him, "you have never been
young. Now you are becoming young again, so women have become attractive. But
don't be afraid, everything is going to become attractive now: the trees will
look different, the flowers will look different - and why not a woman?
Everything is going to become different. And if you are afraid of this then
existence can never become beautiful to you.
"And when the whole of
existence has become beautiful, then you have come to the door of the divine,
never before. And you are afraid of a woman - what will happen when God comes?
He will be so beautiful you will forget your wife completely. What will you do?
You are afraid of a tiny woman - what will happen to you when a tremendous
beauty explodes all over the world, everywhere? So don't close...."
But he said, "You may be
right, but what will happen with my family? I have got children."
These are the fears. With a
repressed mind, relaxation is the most dangerous thing. You come to me and you
ask, "How to relax?" You don't know what you are asking - because
your society has trained you not to relax, your society has taught you how to
control, and here I am teaching you how to relax. It is absolutely antisocial.
But God is antisocial. The beyond is antisocial. Your society is created by
pathological minds just like you. They have made rules and regulations - and
pathological people are always very efficient in making rules and regulations.
They themselves are repressed and in misery; they want others also to be
repressed and in misery. They cannot allow you to be so happy.
Look at a schoolmaster in a
primary school, with a staff in his hand, killing small children who are still
happy. The society has not destroyed them - they are still spontaneous. Look at
this schoolmaster: sad, angry, always angry, always killing the natural, the
Tao, the spontaneous. He will be happy only when all these children become old
and dead. Then he will be at ease, he has done his job.
Psychologists say that people
who are attracted towards schools, to become teachers, are people who are sadists.
And there is nothing like a school if you are a sadist, because children are so
weak, so helpless, you can do anything with them. You beat them and they cannot
rebel. You do something and they cannot reply, they will have to suffer. And
you are doing this for their own good, so you are beyond reproach. You are
helping them to grow.
Pascal has said that the whole
society is mad and that children fall into the hands of so many madmen. They
come innocent, but immediately we take charge and turn them into madmen. Some
of them escape from the back door: they are criminals. And some of them escape
from the front door: they are sages.
Sages and criminals have one
similar quality, and that is rebelliousness. But the criminal has gone wrong in
his rebelliousness. His rebelliousness is destructive, not creative. And the
saint has taken a route of rebelliousness - but creative.
The parents were very angry. At
first the girl would not say who the father was, but after much harassment she
named Hakuin.
In great anger the parents went
to Hakuin, but all he would say was, "Is that so?"
After the child was born it was
taken to Hakuin - who had lost his reputation by this time, although he didn't
seem much disturbed by the fact.
Whether you honor or whether
you dishonor him cannot make any difference to a sage, to a man of purity. What
you think about him is really irrelevant.
Why is it so relevant to you
what others think? Why are others' opinions so relevant to you? Why do you care
so much? Because you don't know who you are. You depend on their opinions about
yourself. That's your only self-knowledge. If they say you are good, you are
good. If they say you are bad, you are bad. You have nothing inside which can
say, "Their opinions are their opinions. If I am good, I am good;
whatsoever they say makes no difference. If I am bad, I am bad. The whole world
may respect me like a saint, but if I am bad, I know I am bad, and this
reputation cannot become a substitute - it is useless. And if I am good, the
whole world may say that I am not good, bad, evil, the very devil incarnate -
how does it make any difference?"
One who knows himself is never
disturbed by what you think about him. But one who doesn't know himself - he is
always disturbed, because his whole knowledge consists of your opinions. His
whole knowledge is just a file he has gathered about what people think about
him. This is not knowledge, not self-knowledge. This is self-ignorance, which
you hide, disguise, by others' opinions. Your whole identity, your whole image,
is made by others. You are bound to remain in constant anxiety because others
go on changing their opinions.
Opinions are like the climate:
it is never the same. In the morning it was cloudy and now the clouds have
gone. Now it is sunny, and the next moment it is raining. Opinions are just
like clouds, just like the climate. What can you do about it? Look at Richard
Nixon: just a moment before he was everything, and just a moment later,
nothing. The opinion has changed, the people who were for him are against him -
and the same people!
This is the beauty of it: the
same people who will push you towards the throne will pull you down.
There is a dynamic, an inner
law, that the people who respect you, deep down also disrespect you.
The people who love you also
hate you, because they are divided. They are not one. So after they help you to
reach to the throne, one part of them is finished - the love part. Now what
will happen to the hate part? Immediately the hate part starts functioning. So
once a man becomes respectable the climate is changing already. Once a man has
become a president or a prime minister, the voters are already changing.
Really, the moment they voted one part is finished - the love part. Now the
hate part will come up. So the same people take you to the throne, and the same
people bring you down.
Only a sage remains
undisturbed. Why? - because he never pays any attention to what you say.
What you say is really rubbish.
You don't know anything about yourself, and you say something about Mahavira,
Buddha, Christ. You don't know anything about yourself, and you are so
confident about Jesus, that he is good or bad. It is rubbish. And a person can
pay attention to your rubbish only if he is just like you. A sage is not like
you, and this is the difference.
After the child was born it was
taken to Hakuin - who had lost his reputation by this time.
Of course, obviously, the same
people who thought that he is a sage started thinking that he is a devil. He
has committed the greatest sin - because for people, sex is the greatest sin.
You are so much against life
that sex has become the greatest sin - because it is the origin of life.
You are so dead, that's why sex
has become the greatest sin. Sex is the most alive phenomenon in the world.
Nothing else is so alive as sex. You come through it, the trees come through
it, the birds come through it - everything comes through it. Anything that
becomes alive comes through it, it is the original source.
If you can give any parallel to
God in this world, it is sex. That's why Hindus have made their symbol
shivalinga. Hindus are really
rare - no comparison anywhere in the world - very courageous people to make
shivalinga, the sex organ of Shiva, the symbol of the divine.
Sex is the most divine thing in
the world. But why do you call it a sin? - because from the very beginning you
have been taught that it is sin. You have completely forgotten that you have
come out of it. And you have completely disguised the fact that when the sex
energy is finished in you, you will die. It is sex energy throbbing in you
which is life.
That's why a young man is more
alive, and an old man is less alive. What is the difference between a young man
and an old man? In young men the sex energy is in flood. In the old man the
supply has disappeared, now the flood is disappearing. It has become just like
a dripping stream. The moment sex energy has disappeared, you are dead.
Sex is life - and we have made
it the greatest sin.
Deep down we are against life.
So when you come to know that a
saint has been in a sexual relationship, all his reputation immediately
disappears. If he was a thief it would not be so bad, you could have forgiven
him.
If he was accumulating money -
your saints are accumulating - then you would have forgiven him; it was not a
big problem, greed is not a big problem. Whatsoever he was doing you could have
forgiven him, but sex? - impossible!
We have become so deadly
against it that Christians say that Jesus was born without sex. Because how can
Jesus be born out of sex, the original sin? How can Jesus be born out of sex?
Everyone else is born out of sex - not Jesus. Just because sex is such a
dangerous thing, they said that Jesus was born from the Holy Ghost. There is no
father to Jesus, there has been no sexual intercourse.
He was born out of the womb
without any meeting with the other sex.
Why this nonsense? But leave
Jesus aside, and the Christians. You! If you even think that your father, some
time or other, must be making love to your mother, you will feel guilty. How
were you born? You are not a bastard. But just to think of your father making
love to your mother... the whole thing seems ugly. The whole thing seems so
ugly that you cannot conceive of your father doing that - others may be doing it,
but your father? Impossible! You are born out of a brahmachari father, a
celibate; that's what Christians are saying about Jesus.
And when you come to be sure
that a saint, a great sage like Hakuin, has made a girl pregnant - obviously
not only respect is gone. He must have been insulted as much as possible. It
would have become impossible for him to go around the town to beg. People must
have been throwing stones at him, the same people who were bringing garlands
and flowers and who were bowing down at his feet - the same people. But Hakuin
was not disturbed.
Hakuin took great care of the
child. He obtained milk, food, and everything else the child needed from his
neighbors.
A year later, the girl-mother
could stand it no longer, so she told her parents the truth...
It must have been too heavy on
her, seeing Hakuin's respect going down and down, seeing the insults being
thrown at Hakuin, seeing that the whole town is against him, seeing him begging
for the child, for the milk, for the food, and doors being closed in his face.
It must have been really heavy.
... So she told her parents the
truth - the real father was a young man who worked in the fish market.
They always work in the fish
market - the real fathers.
The mother and father of the
girl went around at once to Hakuin to tell him the story, apologize at great
length, ask his forgiveness, and get the child back.
As the master willingly yielded
the child he said, "Is that so?"
In misery, in happiness, the
sage remains the same. Respected, insulted, the sage remains the same. In life,
in death, the sage remains the same. He again simply said the same three words:
"Is that so?" Again noncommittal, again not committing himself to
anything, not saying anything, simply accepting a fact: "If that is so,
okay."
This is the consciousness of
purity. Whatsoever life brings, welcome it. If it brings misery and insult -
accept it, welcome it. If it brings honor, happiness - welcome it, accept it.
And don't make any distinction between the two. If you differentiate, your
balance is lost, and the balance is the purity.
When you are balanced, you are
a sage. When the balance is lost, you are lost, you have become a sinner. Sin
is not something that you do, sin is something that happens within you when the
balance is lost. It is not an act, it is an inner balance. It is what Mahavira
has called samyaktva - inner balance; neither this nor that, what the
Upanishads have called neti, neti - not this, not that. Just in between -
neither moving to this, nor moving to that, because if you move, even a slight
movement which nobody can detect except you.... Remember this: nobody can
detect your inner balance. Only you can detect it, it is so subtle! But even a
slight movement and you are no more at peace, you are no more at home, you have
lost the divine. Because what does a slight leaning mean? It means you have
chosen. It means a distinction is made. It means you have said this is good,
that is bad. It means expectation has come in. It means desire has sprouted. It
means now you are motivated.
Had Hakuin said, "Right!
So you have come to know the truth?" that would mean he was no sage at
all, because that would mean for the whole year he was waiting for this moment,
he was not in the present, he was thinking for the future, "Some day or
other the truth must be known. The people will respect me again. When they come
to know that the child doesn't belong to me, they will respect me again: my
respect will be back." Then he would have waited, but the balance is
lost....
If Hakuin was not a sage he
would have thought and prayed to God, that God reveal the truth to people. But
why? If it happens that a child has happened to you, and people think that it
is your child - if life has brought a child to you, what difference does it
make who the real father is? No difference! Hakuin took every care of the
child, just like a father. The child needs a father, that is the thing. And
Hakuin fathered the child as lovingly as no father could. Even if the child was
your own, it would have been difficult to take such care as he took.
It was no sin of the child. He
was not against the child. If you had been in Hakuin's place, you would have
killed the child because he was the cause of your misery. You would have thrown
the child and moved to another village where people can respect you again,
because they don't know you. You would have done something to defend your
respect - your whole prestige was shattered.
And Hakuin was just caring
about the child, not worried about the village. What people say is not the
question, it is irrelevant. The child needed a father, so Hakuin became the
father. He was not disturbed, he didn't react.
And then, after one year...
when you take care of a child so lovingly, attachment arises - bound to be so.
Even if the child is not yours, the child becomes yours. To live with a child
for one year and to suffer so much for the child, to sacrifice so much for the
child - a deep bond, a deep relationship arises. One becomes attached. But when
the parents came again and they told the whole story, asked his forgiveness and
got the child back, as the master willingly yielded the childthere was not a
single trembling of attachment. He simply yielded the child - he said, "Is
that so?" - as if nothing has happened. This whole year has been a dream.
Only the dream is broken, and you are awake.
A sage lives in this world
amidst you as if he is living in a dream. You are shadows. He lives amidst you
just as if he is enacting a part, he is not involved. He is there, but not in
it - he remains an outsider. And if you can remain an outsider, then sooner or
later you will come to realize: no water, no moon. Because when you get
involved, water is created; then you live with the reflection, then you cannot
move to the real, then you live with the unreal.
Your attachment creates the
delusion. The delusion is not there outside you, the maya is not there outside
you. It is within you, in your attitudes: attached, choosing, for this, against
that, making distinctions, like and dislike. It is in you. You create your
illusion and then you live in it, then you are clouded by it. In that clouded
state you can see only the reflection, you can never see the real moon.
This Hakuin remained balanced.
Whatsoever happened outside didn't affect the inside at all. The inside
remained balanced - no waves, no vibrations of the outside entered. He remained
silent as if it was a dream. And whatsoever came, he accepted it. He didn't
become a doer, a karta, he remained a witness.
These three words, "Is
that so?" belong to the witnessing soul; not making any judgment, simply
saying, "Is that so?" And this is all that was inside him, "Is
that so? If it is so, okay."
A sage okays everything that
happens, he has no choice. And when there is no choice, there is no water. No
water - reflection disappears, maya disappears - no moon.
Enough for today.